When I was little I was taught to control myself:
Don't shout, don't jump, don't cry too loudly, don't laugh too loudly....
When I grew up I was taught to manage myself:
Manage anger, manage excitement, manage tension....
So come around the age of 30, I realized, control this, manage that ... I no longer knew what it meant to let go.
I no longer knew what it meant to express an emotion without having to give it a predetermined form.
I didn't even know how to feel my emotions without prejudice anymore.
And I didn't even know how to listen to my emotions anymore.
And when you don't know how to listen to your emotions you always get a little lost.
Because emotions reveal who we really are. And what's really important to us.
But when we repress, control or manage them we alter their message.
And so, then, we feel confused.
We feel lost.
We feel we are in the world for a Purpose, but we struggle to find what it is.
So off to the psychologist. And psychotropic drugs.
(Me at least).
And 10 years later ... you still find yourself back where you started.
Always confused.
Always a little lost.
“20 seconds of wonderful madness” is an art project that was born to take back my emotions.
And with them my life.
The concept is simple: when a very intense emotion comes, the mind tries to handle it.
But if the emotion is very strong, there are 20 to 30 seconds when the mind fails to take action.
And in those 20 seconds, which we might say of sheer madness, we are free to be really authentic.
To express ourselves for who we are, without restraint or inhibition.
So I did an experiment: whenever a very intense emotion came I would run to the studio and let myself go.
Venting the 'emotion on the canvas.
Without control.
Without management.
Unfiltered.
And you know what?
It was a unique experience!
In those 20 seconds I felt as close to myself as rarely in my life.
I learned things about myself that in over 10 years of personal growth I had not even noticed.
I discovered the real reasons for my malaise.
And I focused on what really gives meaning to my life.
And I can say without exaggeration that letting go of the madness of emotions has been one of the most profound experiences of my life.
An experience that I wish everyone could have.
Meanwhile, I share with you my experience, etched forever on 5 canvases, which you can find in “20 Seconds of Wonderful Madness.”
Challenge the ordinary, embrace the unusual. Always.
Emanuele
I am Emanuele “Renton” Fortunati, a spiritual and esoteric researcher: art is the laboratory where I carry out my experiments.
My aim is to reveal the connections between the spiritual and material worlds, because I believe that the essence of every Human Being is hidden right at the border between these two worlds.
What moves me is the idea that in each of us there exists a raw identity, free from social and cultural conditioning, and that if we expand our knowledge of ourselves and the reality around us enough, we can finally be free to embrace this true identity of ours. Our essence precisely.
And, thus, also be free to live according to our inclinations and create our own personal and unique life path.
Over the years I have realized that it takes 2 “steps” to find one's Essence.
The first step is to begin to disobey: abandon social rules and conditioning that prevent you from living according to your true nature.
The second step is to find your own Spiritual Identity: it is the only way you can really shine, and be a beacon for others around YOU as well.
Here it is: if my art revolves entirely around this second point, these pages, on the other hand, tell how I personally live both the spiritual quest and disobedience, with the idea that these shares can somehow come in handy for YOU and your Path as well.
Here you can find food for thought, texts that expand on my art projects and behind the scenes of my works and projects. And also a little (a lot) of healthy disobedience!